Staying in my profession I heard this question so often: ”Why Gog did it to me?” People with the crushed souls finally are always asking like that.
In time of long term crisis we are not thinking logical, our emotional pain is covering the truth. ALWAYS, I was asking back: ”God or toxic people in your life?”.
The tears… Sometimes the tears it’s a first sign of inner healing. The stream of light which you can feel as physical around your heart. Next few nights you can sleep, just sleep.
You don’t need any preachers to start this process, You need the understanding what happened in and with your life. The TRUTH is making you free on spiritual stage also.